The first relationship of teenagers. What should parents do?

Adults often feel anxious about a teen getting into a romantic relationship, but this is normal and age-appropriate. It is difficult to say how much parents are allowed to interfere in this area: a lot depends on the child and his maturity.

You can share advice, but don’t forget that the most important thing is to respect your teen’s feelings and decisions. Unless the relationship is life-threatening, your role should be minimal, so refrain from putting too much pressure on him.

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Going on a dates

No one teaches teenagers how to behave on a date. Talk to your child about respecting other people’s values ​​and respecting boundaries. Discuss this topic before the child starts dating someone, and then be always there if he needs advice.

Initially, set some rules: where a teenager can go on a date, where not. When it comes down to it, he will decide for himself how to apply these rules.

Explain that some people go on dates because everyone else does, because they’re lonely, or just because they’re invited. Using a person, knowing that his interest is not mutual, is dishonest, it is better not to do this. You should not maintain a romantic relationship with someone just because you are “supposed” to meet someone in the environment.

It makes sense to enter into a relationship only with those to whom there is a real interest.

When people meet, they get to know each other better. Gradually, they may come to the conclusion that they want to be together for as long as possible. Great is the temptation to spend every minute together. It is important to achieve a balance so that everyone in the couple has time for their own affairs and for communication with each other. This helps create the foundation for a healthy relationship. Sometimes teenagers fall in love and forget about their studies, there can come for help.

Non-reciprocal interest

It’s a shame when feelings do not find an answer. The lover gets the feeling that he is not good enough, although in reality, people are simply not suitable for each other. Here are some strategies to help your teen bounce back and move on:

1. Do not get hung up. If you think about the person who did not want to be around all the time, it is unlikely that you will be able to cope with the situation. Good help music or sports that load the body and mind.

2. Don’t sit alone. Loneliness feeds negative emotions. It is good to go somewhere with family and friends who are ready to provide support.

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3. Redirect anger. Rejection causes anger, and it’s natural. But it is unnatural when anger forces you to shout at others, to hurt them. Need physical activity (for example, dancing or sports).

If your teen is experiencing rejection, respect their feelings. Of course, you want him to get better, but too much attention can make his condition worse. Let him know that you are there and ready to help, but do not overload him with your sympathy and advice. Invite your teen to do activities they love together, but don’t be offended if they say no. Free their time from studies with and just spend time together.

Healthy and unhealthy relationships

Every relationship is different, but there are basic qualities that keep them healthy. In any situation, the principles of respect, equality, trust and security should work.

In healthy romantic relationships, people:

  • support each other in studies, creativity, and career
  • feel comfortable in a couple;
  • want to spend time together;
  • feel content with themselves, the other person, and relationships;
  • are able to discuss what worries and upsets them;
  • do not violate important boundaries for another person (which, for example, may relate to personal space or how much time it is worth spending together);
  • build communication on respect, equality, security and trust. This is manifested in speech: in words, intonation, body language, in the way people listen to each other.

Immediate intervention may seem like the only option, but this will most likely alienate the child from you. In the pursuit of independence, he will return to the offender.

Just make sure your teen knows that you will always be by their side no matter what. Ask his friends for advice, try to unobtrusively find out how critical your intervention is. Look for pay me to do your homework reviews, that can help your child with studies and free from additional stress.

Break up

Explain to your child that kindness and honesty are important in relationships, this is also true in their final. If one of the partners has lost interest in the other, then the most correct thing to do would be to be honest about it.

If a teenager goes through a breakup, he will be sad regardless of whether he was the initiator. For some, closer contact with the family is important, while others appreciate the opportunity to be alone. The child should know that you are nearby, but you will not impose your society.

The past cannot be changed, but lessons can be learned from it. Invite your teen to think about the good and bad things that happened in the last relationship.

If all thoughts boil down to painful memories, it’s important to acknowledge them and then think about ways to avoid them in the future.

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